Ennui

Actually, if there is a bored that is more bored than expressed by ennui, than I'm that word.
Have you ever been so bored that you can't sleep? The thought of being bored is literally keeping me awake; perhaps it's all of the planning of things that would make me less bored.
I remember I was watching Celebrity Rehab once, and Dr. Drew said that boredom to an addict is really depression. Considering I am addicted to sugar, smoking, and being lazy, that statement has me worried. Especially if depression is so sneaky that you can have it and not even feel sad!

Today I came across the profile of a man who I suspect is the first boy that I ever kissed. We were in middle school together. I had a crush on his friend. The three of us were hanging out. Somehow I got dared to do it, so I did, right in front of my crush. Nothing came of either one of them. I seriously believe that is the story of my life. (Dear Universe, please end that story, and start working on the sequel: "My Next Thirty Years.")

Makes me think of a quote from Dr. MLK that I am trying to live by, but keep quickly forgetting, mainly because I am not sure how to put this into action:

"Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others."

I'm going to look for volunteer opportunities.