Creep: I keep staring at the hot guy in my class. I literally can't help myself, as he sits directly in my line of sight, in both lecture and lab. But sometimes I feel like I am leering. Like today - he stretched, and every muscle in his chiseled shoulder was visible since he is a big fan of tank tops. My tongue almost rolled out of my mouth. I am actually HAPPY that he has a girlfriend, because I wouldn't be able to handle the depression of knowing that I am too old and too fat to pursue this guy (my minimum age is 21 and he is only 20; a guy that fit probably wants to be with someone who doesn't struggle through her one and only 11 minute mile a day).
Weirdo: I have ranked the good looking guys in my class, and refer to them according to their rank. So cute guy #4 sat next to me both lectures this week. I found out that he is significantly mixed with Native American - which, in spite of my experience in Navajo nation (no cell phone towers so the people are cut of from modern technology, bars on all of the windows, stray horses and dogs) - I found this to be a turn ON. Then he said that he wants to be an engineer, which really blew my socks off.
What the hell am I doing here: There were a few things that I wanted to do before I turned 30. These included: quitting smoking, losing weight (so that I could be 30, flirty and fun like the movie), make more money than I did when I was 20, have my own place, and meet the guy who would try to convince me to bear his children. I have done none of this. And I honestly can't figure out why I can't muster the motivation to get my butt into gear for any of these. Though I will admit that while using the restroom I looked at the collection of fat around my stomach and determined that there was too much of it for my liking, and went for a run (the aforementioned 1 mile). So the motivation is there... sometimes. I know that 30 is an arbitrary number, and that I put more significance in 33 (because my lucky numbers are 6 and 9). But I never expected to feel exactly the same way that I did on the day that I graduate high school.
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